Tera Patrick review

Tera Patrick review | Mr. Pink's Porn Reviews
MrPinks.com review date - 09/21/2012

Overview:
"Hi, I'm Tera Patrick and although I may be retired from porn, I'd still like you to stare at my big boobies then pay to watch me do stuff in the members area of my website, which is also called Tera Patrick. (Like me, hee hee!)" If that's what goes through your head upon first setting eyes on the undeniably provocative Tera Patrick - whose decidedly unprovocative real name is Linda Ann Hopkins - you're my kind of man. Love her or just barely tolerate her incessant lustful grabs at genuine mainstream celebrity, there's no denying Tera Patrick is one supremely fuckable woman. You're a dude, dude, so just admit it already: even you, a porn devotee, will stoop to pay respect to the perfection that was Tera Patrick in her porno-shooting prime. Where better to do exactly that (and how) than on Tera's very own official website. What's that, you heard she retired and now lives a comparative suburban life? Surely it can't be so! You mean to tell me that I'm about to enter and view a site that contrary to the boasts on its tour pages does not have High Definition videos showcasing Ms. Patrick's ample boobage, pretty face, and long, slender figure along with demonstrations of her ravishing sexual technique? Then why would I pay $29.95 a month to get inside? I choose not to believe you. I choose taking a chance on one of the most recognized and revered adult performers in history. I choose to find out, dear reader (who I hope will tag along), whether Tera's site still has what it takes in this unforgiving world of online adult entertainment. I choose Tera Patrick dot com.

Pros:
Tera: she rocks! Well, she's certainly a stunningly attractive and highly enticing woman, that's undeniable. Her attitude - (Linda Ann Hopkins + desperation + vamp + more celebrity than most pornstars) - is arrogant yet easy and that can be kinda fetching when most pornstars just look thrilled there's a camera present. Physically, of course, Tera is regarded incredibly highly and rightly so.

Much of the content here revolves around Tera's use of her body as a vessel for her inner sexual being. In sum: she strips. Now, there is a good hardcore collection here, with scenes starring Tera and others, but the new stuff is all softcore and very high-class softcore at that. It all looks great, too: photos of 1920px and videos as large and strong as 720p and 1080p HD. Beautiful stuff.

By no means a small site, Tera's rather modest online home covers 365 scenes, most of them quite brief, and close to 200 photo galleries. Quite a tidy little collection, I must say. What it lacks, though, the Fame Digital can more than cover; network access gets you into 21 other quality websites and Mr. Pink's makes the deal even sweeter with our half-price discount getting you inside for $14.95 monthly.

Cons:
Like other Fame Digital banner stars, Tera has taken some time off shooting porn. In fact, she seems well and truly done with it and likely won't ever fuck on camera again. That said, don't expect anything remotely hardcore appear here, not starring Tera at least, for the foreseeable future. In fact you won't find a hetero hardcore Tera scene more recent than September of 2010.

Actually, in the many months since that date, there hasn't been a whole lot of action here. Updates stalled for a number of months and have only recently started arriving again. Even now they're not on a remotely stable or regular schedule, appearing anywhere from two to twelve weeks apart.

Much of the recent content appears to have been uploaded and added to this site as an afterthought or a quick chore that needed minimal thought. Scene titles either mean nothing (Tera Patrick Shoot #03 Scene #01) or are flatly misleading, as is Tera Patrick Pigtails, in which Tera's flowing locks remain unrestrained for the duration.

Tera appears in only a third of the scenes on her site, the others populated by some great pornstars and some unfortunate duds. Having not really been attentive during her early days, I can't help but wonder if Tera Patrick has always called herself a pornstar but shot such little porn.

Conclusion:
The major issue plaguing Tera Patrick's official online home is this: you can't be much of a pornstar when you're no longer a pornstar. Since her retirement, Tera's site has stopped being the must-see homepage of one of porn's ultimate babes and has instead become a retrospective greatest hits package. Like the 28-CD decade-as-era box sets Peter Fonda and Paul Anka push in 2am infomercial spots, Tera's site sells you the same handful of quality Tera scenes over and over and over. If you're keen on other Fame Digital sites (and with stunners like Rocco Siffredi and Devil's Film why wouldn't you be) then it's best to join one of those and consider Tera's site to be something to enjoy when nothing else is quite cutting it.