Seymore Butts review

Seymore Butts review | Mr. Pink's Porn Reviews
MrPinks.com review date - 05/16/2013

Overview:
The pranks phone calls of one Bartholomew J. Simpson were the soundtrack to many adolescent fantasies, but few of them sexual. Why then am I bringing up The Simpsons in a porn review? Well, one of the phony names Bart offered to bartender Moe Szyslak, Seymore Butts, wasn't just a juvenile pun, it was a juvenile pun that was also used a pseudonym by one Adam Glasser. Born in the Bronx and operating out of sunny Los Angeles, Mr. Butts became such an important presence in adult entertainment he was even the subject of an obscenity case; although the questionable acts detailed in People of the State of California v. Adam Glasser, vaginal fisting, sure didn't help. Now free of legal entanglements and eager to reaffirm his place at the top of the porno food chain. Charging members only $9.99 for monthly access, Butts is off to a great start, but what does the members area of his site actually provide? Grab your virtual speculums, folks, 'cause we're about to peel apart the cheeks of ol' Seymore Butts's official online home and examine its insides as closely as Butts himself once examined the interior of Alisha Klass's perfectly puckering asshole.

Pros:
Seymore Butts didn't become a legend through luck alone. The man made his reputation with some truly adventurous smut, much of it presaging the gonzo revolution with handheld POV camera positions and an abundance of anal while Mike Adriano was still in short pants.

Butts's site holds an interesting mix of performers from the 90s, early 2000's and more recent years. Now retired stars like Alisha Klass, Shane (later of Shane's World), Mari Possa, and Joclyn James appear alongside contemporary hot shots like Lisa Ann, Sophie Dee, Jenna Haze, and Havana Ginger.

One of the best things about this site is the price: a mere $9.95 gets you inside for a full month. That's so cheap there was no need for a Mr. Pink's discount. Butts has to eat, you know!

Cons:
Videos may download in 1280x720 pixel containers, but they're certainly not actually High Definition. The vast majority, if not all of the available content was shot before HD cameras became commercially available and have likely been upconverted to their new pseudo-HD format.

For a man with such an extensive oeuvre, Butts hasn't even begun to fill his site with sufficient content. A new scene arrives every eight days, and with only 179 scenes currently online, there really isn't a great deal here. Although there's many hidden gems, scenes can be hit or miss both in regard to their potential for arousal and their technical merits.

The site is clearly a haven for bugs and bots. Take a look at most any scene's comment section and you'll find such gibberish as "ODM2WUo4S1Nu" and '"()&%1prompt(900693)" along with a few spammy urls and nothing at all of substance.

Seymore Butts, this site has clearly been assembled from a pretty basic template and is rife with errors and missteps. Search results aren't specific enough for efficient browsing; the model index shows only a dozen women when far, far more are featured elsewhere on the site.

Conclusion:
Although Seymore Butts offers only a modest digital archive that barely dents his complete works, housing the collection on a poorly constructed site that hinders your browsing as often as it aids it, it is nonetheless an essential part of recent porn history. There is many a classic performance from yesterday's most compelling pornstars: Alisha Klass, Shane, and Mari Possa (all of whom were romantically involved with Butts; Klass going so far as to have his name tattooed across her buttocks) turn on some brilliantly, ravenously sensual scenes and help solidify their legend. It was an inevitable disappointment that Butts' work either remain in standard def. or receive a merely passable remaster to lackluster HD, but the videos still, for the most part, look decent. In the end, though, it's the low price that is Seymore Butts' saving grace: at $9.95 a month, everyone can afford to give ol' Buttsy boy another shot!